Sarah Jayne’s Journey

For the past two days Anthony’s dad has been staying with us.  He has very kindly come down on the train to help us fix our shower that broke last week.  It is a very nice thing of him to do especially as he is 70 years old (but a young 70, if you know what I mean) and I am very grateful to him.  The only problem for me is that every time we have house guests I really start to stress inside about calories.

You may have been able to tell from the posts that I have made so far that I am a bit obsessive about counting calories.  It isn’t fun but I need to do it and I know that if I let myself slack off too much then my weight loss stalls.

However, as soon as there is more than myself and Anthony to cook for I just give up counting what goes into the meals I cook.  I don’t fully know what my problem is because it is just a matter of dividing the calories that go into the meal by how many people are eating.  I do that every single night when I cook for two so doing it by three or four really shouldn’t be any more difficult yet I don’t.

I think perhaps it is an embarrassment thing.  Nobody I know well enough to stay at my home is going to be critical of me for writing down everything I put into a meal and counting up calories but yet in some way it almost feels like a private activity that shouldn’t be seen by others.  Not at all rational, I know.
Then there is the fact that the food I am making most of time these days isn’t that kind of food most people eat.  For example, my (soon to be) father in law wouldn’t know what to do with a vegetarian stew if put it in front of him.  So, I think I go to pains to not put people in the position of eating something they might not like rather than worry about my own weight loss.

In actuality I don’t think I am doing that badly.  I made a fairly low fat chicken dish with rice yesterday and I will be making a chilli con carne  tonight that will be as low fat as I can possibly make it and still make it taste okay.  It is just that because I am not counting those calories at the evening meal I just give up on it for the rest of the day.  I am not eating badly for those other meals.  In fact, I am pretty much eating the exact same things but I just hate that I let myself ‘guess’ for two days about my calories rather than just put my weight loss first and pleasing people second.