Sarah Jayne’s Journey

Weekends can be a disaster for me with sticking to the diet.  I don’t really ever eat all that badly these days in the way of true junk food but I am less likely to count calories on the weekend and then slip into bigger portions and even big portions of otherwise good food can put on pounds.  I should be happy that these days my idea of the perfect weekend treat is to have some marinated artichokes rather than the chocolate and crisps of the past.  Yet, all the while I am having those yummy marinated artichokes I am thinking ‘oh my god, I am eating something packed in oil’.  Now, deep inside I know that it is irrational but I worry that I will stray too far.  Sort of like an alcoholic not being able to allow themselves one drink.

Weekends are hard for counting calories because we are more likely not to be in the house most of the day so there might be mystery meals out or we might have people over and then I don’t want to subject them to my low fat stuff (though that is mostly because most of my friends just won’t eat veggies unless they are hidden).  Even on the weekends when we are in the house the whole time it is still different because I am not the only one here for two out of the three meals, as is the case during the week.

See, I can rattle off so many excuses to give myself the weekend off from counting calories.  Since this weekend is one of the stay at home weekends I decided to make myself count calories.

I have done pretty well, really.  The basic run-down of what I had to eat today was:

Breakfast:

Sultana Bran Cereal (sultanas are like raisins) with skim milk - 247 calories

Lunch:

Big chef salad with low fat cheese and 2 slices of wholemeal bread - 504 calories

Dinner:

Low fat chicken curry with microwave rice -  761 Calories

Total daily calories:  1512

I reckon for a 237 pound, 5 foot 2 woman 1512 calories is pretty darn good especially for a Saturday.  So, what am I feeling guilty about?  The stupid microwave rice.

Firstly, I don’t usually have rice even though I really like it simply because it eats up calories and isn’t the most slow burning of carbs and I really aim for low GI stuff because I have insulin resistance. I will usually cook rice for Anthony ( my partner) but skip it for myself and have a green veg like broccoli or kale instead.  Secondly, I have worked hard not to go for convenience foods.  I now cook the majority of meals from scratch with the exception of a low fat/calorie cooking sauce now and then.  So, putting rice in the microwave for 2 minutes almost felt dirty in some odd way.  Then to top it all off that rice was 300 calories.

It amazes me that these days I feel nagging guilt when I eat something that is 300 calories.   I mean, I ate that over two hours ago and it is nagging me a bit still.  I am sure in the past I have put 300 calories of chocolate down my throat without even a second thought but rice (that was actually pretty healthy) bugs me now?  I suppose those nagging things are good on a level because they keep me on  track a bit but I do need to keep that second little voice of reason alive in my head to bitch slap the nagging voice on unreasonable guilt now and then.