Sarah Jayne’s Journey

I just got back from my monthly weigh in at the nurse’s office and I now weigh…..*drum roll please*

227 pounds! That is a 5 pound loss in the past month.  I figure anything more than a pound a week is to be considered a good month and especially when I had a few days of eating total rubbish at the parties we had in the month.

I have no clue at all when the last time I weighed anywhere in the 220 but it had to be in my early teens or late pre-teens.  I wonder what my body thinks is happening to it..lol

The nurse also said today that she is going to keep me on Xenical until the company notices I have been on longer than the initial two years and tells me to come off of it.  Again, I have no idea how much the Xenical is actually doing these days since I am counting calories on my own and eating such low levels of fat daily but I will take what I can get for as long as I can get it!

So, this means I have two pounds to go between now and my wedding on the 19th to be at the 225 pounds I wanted to be at so that if I gained any weight on the honeymoon it wouldn’t be likely to take me back into the 230’s.  I should be able to do that unless I really get dumb.

That said…pizza night tonight as my last ‘cheat’ before the wedding!

Okay so I have really fallen behind on posting here and need to jump back in and try to get back into the mindset of daily accountability.  I haven’t had an official weigh in since my last post so I don’t know how much (if anything) I have lost.  The next weigh in at the nurse is Friday so I will find out soon.

In  the last month I haven’t been all *that* bad but I don’t think I have been all that good either.  Anthony and myself have kept up going for our morning hour or so walk on most weekdays and that has been a good thing to keep us moving.  We did host two parties though (Eurovision and a joint bachelor/bachlorette party) and that meant a lot of party food and not really counting calories for days at a time. So, I am hoping the weighin isn’t too bad.

My goal between now and the wedding - which is on July 19th - is to try to be about 225lbs or bellow.  The reason is because I know that on the honeymoon we will not be eating fantastically (though, I am not going to go out of my way to eat horribly either) and I would like to drop enough that even if I gain a few pounds over that period that I am still in the 220’s on our return.   Having not been weighed this month I have no idea how close I am to that already but we shall see on Friday.

Anyway, my challenge I am setting to myself is to have no ‘cheats’ until we get married on the 19th of July.  Now, the reason I am saying ‘cheats’ is because on my weigh in day I always allow myself a takeaway meal and that is suppose to be the only really bad meal I have that month (doesn’t always work out that way but it is the aim).  So, this Friday we shall be having a much longed for pizza.  So, other than that I want to go to the 19th without eating any rubbish and I want to make sure that I have counted my calories on the vast majority of those days.  Not only should this help me drop some weight and hopefully reach the 225 goal for the wedding but also it should help to make sure my skin and hair look as good as they can for the day.  Plus, you just feel better and more energetic after a long stint of eating well and exercising (if only we could remember that as well as we can remember how good chocolate tastes).

So, that is the challenge..let’s see how it pans out.

I just got back from my monthly weigh in at the nurse’s office.  I am pleased to report that I lost 5 pounds this month which takes me down to 232 pounds.  I am pleased with that sort of rate of loss and I know I earned it because with exception of a few days I counted calories everyday and exercised to some degree (usually a 45 minute walk in the morning rather than my exercise bike because the weather has been really nice) most mornings.  So, I shouldn’t be all that shocked but you know how it goes because sometimes you can do everything right and still not drop an ounce.

Next month is probably my last month of being issued a xenical prescription and I have been really worried about that even though I know at this stage I am eating so well that it really isn’t the reason for my loss.  What I have been worried about is not having the structure of the monthly weigh in because I think that has had more to do with keeping me in check than the medication.  So, I talked to the nurse today and the good news is that even when I stop the xenical they are still going to let me part of the weight loss clinic and come in and get weighed every month.  I think that will be really important for me.

Looking ahead, I would really like to see myself in the 220’s next month.  I honestly can’t remember the last time I was in that weight range but I bet I was around 13 years old or younger.

For the past two days Anthony’s dad has been staying with us.  He has very kindly come down on the train to help us fix our shower that broke last week.  It is a very nice thing of him to do especially as he is 70 years old (but a young 70, if you know what I mean) and I am very grateful to him.  The only problem for me is that every time we have house guests I really start to stress inside about calories.

You may have been able to tell from the posts that I have made so far that I am a bit obsessive about counting calories.  It isn’t fun but I need to do it and I know that if I let myself slack off too much then my weight loss stalls.

However, as soon as there is more than myself and Anthony to cook for I just give up counting what goes into the meals I cook.  I don’t fully know what my problem is because it is just a matter of dividing the calories that go into the meal by how many people are eating.  I do that every single night when I cook for two so doing it by three or four really shouldn’t be any more difficult yet I don’t.

I think perhaps it is an embarrassment thing.  Nobody I know well enough to stay at my home is going to be critical of me for writing down everything I put into a meal and counting up calories but yet in some way it almost feels like a private activity that shouldn’t be seen by others.  Not at all rational, I know.
Then there is the fact that the food I am making most of time these days isn’t that kind of food most people eat.  For example, my (soon to be) father in law wouldn’t know what to do with a vegetarian stew if put it in front of him.  So, I think I go to pains to not put people in the position of eating something they might not like rather than worry about my own weight loss.

In actuality I don’t think I am doing that badly.  I made a fairly low fat chicken dish with rice yesterday and I will be making a chilli con carne  tonight that will be as low fat as I can possibly make it and still make it taste okay.  It is just that because I am not counting those calories at the evening meal I just give up on it for the rest of the day.  I am not eating badly for those other meals.  In fact, I am pretty much eating the exact same things but I just hate that I let myself ‘guess’ for two days about my calories rather than just put my weight loss first and pleasing people second.

Today is election day in London where we are voting for our mayor. There are also local elections around the whole of the country but in my neck of the woods the London Mayor race really is the only one getting proper attention. I am a bit (okay a lot of) of a politics nut and I never miss the chance to vote (in two countries, actually).

It was seriously pouring down with rain all day so no matter what time of day I went it was going to be a wet walk to the polling station. I put it off as long as I could but eventually I went out and of course came back cold and wet. So, I wanted to do something warming and filling for our meal tonight.

I was pretty good for my first two meals of the day with cereal and a salad as normal and I wanted to keep on track even though I wanted something comforting. So, I reached for one of my new favourite foods - pearl barley.

I never cooked pearl barley until about a year ago when I decided to try it and now we usually have it in some form once a week. It is really cheap and very filling which is a great combo for anybody and it is even better for those of us watching what we eat because it is very low fat and is a slow burning carb such as that which is good for diabetics and those of us on Low GI plans.

This is the barley dish I came up with tonight. I am a spice wimp and so I used mild chili powder but if you like things hotter use a hotter powder.

Spicy Tomato and Bean Barley Bake - Serves 4

Ingredients:

1 onion, chopped
1 cup carrot, sliced medium thickness
1 cup celery, chopped
1 1/4 cups mushroom, sliced
1 cup pearl barley
1 (15 ounce) can pinto beans, drained
5 cups V8 vegetable juice
1 1/2 tablespoons garlic powder
2 tablespoons mild chili powder
2 1/2 ounces fat free sharp cheddar cheese, shredded

Directions:

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.

Use an oven proof dish casserole or pot that can also be used on the stovetop and put over a medium heat on the stove.

Once the pot is hot spray with some non-stick cooking spray or use a bit of oil if you wish and put the onions in and fry off for about 5 minutes until they are going soft.

Add the carrots, celery and mushrooms and continue to cook for another 5 minutes, stirring often.

Add the pearl barley and the pinto beans and stir through for 2 minutes.

Add the V8, garlic powder and chili powder and stir to make sure everything is well combined.

Cover and put into the oven and cook for about 1 hour and 15 minutes. Keep checking it now and then to make sure it isn’t going dry. It is done when the barley is tender and most of the juices are absorbed.

Take out of the oven and dish out onto serving plates or bowls and then divide the cheese between the dishes and sprinkle on top. Serve.

My next weigh in is in 12 days so I am really going to try to eat as little meat as possible between now and then. I know I will have two days next week when I will have to as we have a house guest but other than that I am going to aim for as many meatless meals as possible such as this one.

This morning when the alarm went off to wake myself and Anthony up to go for our morning walk we both grumbled and hit snooze.  Anthony went back to sleep to catch and extra hour of sleep before having to leave for work.  I stayed in bed for a few moments and then even though I was still really tired something in me made me get up.  I went to the room next door and got on the exercise bike and did 40 minutes while Anthony caught up his (not needed) beauty sleep.  With the help of two episodes of My Name Is Earl  I managed to burn about 400 calories (if I believe the website I use to estimate calorie burn) when I could have been sleeping.

When Anthony woke up he came into the exercise room and mumbled about how he really should have gone for a walk but was too tired. Then he commented that what he needed to do  was stay consistent.  I have been thinking about that throw away comment of his now and then throughout the day.  He is exactly right.  Rather than stressing about every single calorie taken in or burned the thing that is probably most effective in my weight loss is staying consistent.  It doesn’t matter that much if I eat 1500 or 1600 calories in any given day as much as it matters that over a long period I am continually in that range. If I do that then the odd ‘mistake’ will be forgiven by my body.

I think that may have been what my inner dieting coach was telling me when it kicked me out of bed and put me on the exercise bike.

Other than that today was pretty good food wise.   I had my usual high fibre cereal with skim milk and fruit for breakfast, a big salad for lunch and a vegetable and bean chilli w/ steamed greens on the side for my evening meal with a low fat ice cream afterwards.  All of which came to 1585 calories.   I managed to cut down on my salad dressing calories (and fat) today by using very low fat fromage frais (like a creamier cottage cheese) instead of a creamy salad dressing and just mixed in some fat free dressing with it and it went a long way.

I suppose the weekend wasn’t all that bad. I didn’t count calories on Sunday and treated myself to an ice cream cone and that did make me feel guilty to a degree but it was the only really ‘bad’ thing that I had eaten all week. Still, the most important thing following a day when I haven’t counted calories is to get right back into counting them the next day because one lazy day breeds very quickly with me.

So, today I am proud enough that I managed to get myself right back on track. I find that if I don’t start the week doing things correctly then I am less likely to have a good week.

Anthony woke me up at 7am and asked if I wanted to go for a walk. I work from home and I don’t start until 9am so I usually am still asleep when he leaves but then get up at 8am and do some time on the exercise bike. Since he asked though, I got up with him and we went on a walk that lasted about 50 minutes. I would have done more calories on 40 minutes of the bike but I would happily give up burning a few calories to get 50 minutes of chatting with him as we walk. Even if it does mean getting up early…I think.

I ate pretty well too. I had cereal with skim milk for breakfast with two mandrian oranges on the side. Then I had a salad with a little bit of low fat ham and cheese on top and a fat free dressing for lunch. I have been having more meat that I generally like to have lately. So, I went for a meatless evening meal tonight and made ‘Moroccan spaghetti’. All of which left me with the total of 1,464 calories for the day. Hopefully that goes some way for making up for that ice cream yesterday.

For those of you on the look out for low fat recipes, here is the one for the meal we had tonight. It was a very low fat meal and it is really good for those of us that have insulin issues or follow low GI plans because all of the carbs in it are slow burning and low gi. You don’t have to use the whole wheat pasta but I do because it is really packed with fiber and as much as it is a bit gross, fibre is what both fills us up and helps to get rid of the fat.

Moroccan Spaghetti - serves 4

Ingredients:

11 ounces whole wheat spaghetti
1 red onion, chopped finely
3 garlic clove, crushed
1 cup mushroom, sliced
28 ounces chopped tomato, from a can
2 teaspoons cinnamon
2 teaspoons ground cumin
1 teaspoon turmeric
1 pinch salt
1 pinch black pepper
10 ounces chickpeas, from a can, drained and rinsed
3/4 cup fresh parsley, roughly chopped
3/4 cup fresh cilantro, roughly chopped

Directions:

Put spaghetti in a large pot of boiling water and cook as long as the packet suggests. Mine takes 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat a non-stick pan and spray with low fat cooking spray.

Add the onions, garlic and mushrooms and sautee until they start to get soft which was about 5 minutes for me. If they start to stick just put in a splash of water. This is a good way to ‘fry’ things without fat.

Add the tomatoes, cinnamon, cumin, turmeric and salt and pepper and lightly simmer for about 8 minutes stirring frequently.

Stir in the chickpeas and heat just long enough to cook through, about 3 minutes.

Stir in the fresh herbs and just mix through until they start to wilt.

Add in cooked spaghetti and stir to make sure all of the pasta is coated in the sauce.

Serve.

For anybody that is looking for more low fat recipes, Recipezaar is a really good place to exchange them. My profile page is here but there are a lot of low fat / low calorie cooks there too.

Weekends can be a disaster for me with sticking to the diet.  I don’t really ever eat all that badly these days in the way of true junk food but I am less likely to count calories on the weekend and then slip into bigger portions and even big portions of otherwise good food can put on pounds.  I should be happy that these days my idea of the perfect weekend treat is to have some marinated artichokes rather than the chocolate and crisps of the past.  Yet, all the while I am having those yummy marinated artichokes I am thinking ‘oh my god, I am eating something packed in oil’.  Now, deep inside I know that it is irrational but I worry that I will stray too far.  Sort of like an alcoholic not being able to allow themselves one drink.

Weekends are hard for counting calories because we are more likely not to be in the house most of the day so there might be mystery meals out or we might have people over and then I don’t want to subject them to my low fat stuff (though that is mostly because most of my friends just won’t eat veggies unless they are hidden).  Even on the weekends when we are in the house the whole time it is still different because I am not the only one here for two out of the three meals, as is the case during the week.

See, I can rattle off so many excuses to give myself the weekend off from counting calories.  Since this weekend is one of the stay at home weekends I decided to make myself count calories.

I have done pretty well, really.  The basic run-down of what I had to eat today was:

Breakfast:

Sultana Bran Cereal (sultanas are like raisins) with skim milk - 247 calories

Lunch:

Big chef salad with low fat cheese and 2 slices of wholemeal bread - 504 calories

Dinner:

Low fat chicken curry with microwave rice -  761 Calories

Total daily calories:  1512

I reckon for a 237 pound, 5 foot 2 woman 1512 calories is pretty darn good especially for a Saturday.  So, what am I feeling guilty about?  The stupid microwave rice.

Firstly, I don’t usually have rice even though I really like it simply because it eats up calories and isn’t the most slow burning of carbs and I really aim for low GI stuff because I have insulin resistance. I will usually cook rice for Anthony ( my partner) but skip it for myself and have a green veg like broccoli or kale instead.  Secondly, I have worked hard not to go for convenience foods.  I now cook the majority of meals from scratch with the exception of a low fat/calorie cooking sauce now and then.  So, putting rice in the microwave for 2 minutes almost felt dirty in some odd way.  Then to top it all off that rice was 300 calories.

It amazes me that these days I feel nagging guilt when I eat something that is 300 calories.   I mean, I ate that over two hours ago and it is nagging me a bit still.  I am sure in the past I have put 300 calories of chocolate down my throat without even a second thought but rice (that was actually pretty healthy) bugs me now?  I suppose those nagging things are good on a level because they keep me on  track a bit but I do need to keep that second little voice of reason alive in my head to bitch slap the nagging voice on unreasonable guilt now and then.

As I said yesterday, Friday nights in our house lately have been low fat burger night. I am trying to invent different types of low fat burgers so we don’t go out and buy a takeaway. The last few weeks have been turkey burger so this week we decided to have an actual beef burger.

So, tonight’s low fat burger creation was Mushroom and Horseradish burgers. I blitzed the mushrooms up in a food processor to try to get them to sort of replace the breadcrumbs that people tend to put in burgers and also because they have a lot of moisture content I hoped they would also help keep the lean meat moist. I thought that the horseradish sauce might have packed a bit more of a punch but really it was a mellow back taste. So, I spread a little of the horseradish sauce on the burger bun to add a bit of that zip.

Mushroom And Horseradish Hamburgers

Ingredients:

1 lb extra lean ground beef
1 small onion, quartered
2 garlic clove
1 cup mushrooms, quartered
3 tablespoons horseradish sauce
1 beef stock cube, crumbled
1 egg white

Directions:

Put the onion, garlic and mushrooms into a food processor or chopper and blitz for about 40 seconds to a minute until everything is mixed and the mushrooms are finely chopped.

Put the ground beef into a bowl and add the mixture you just blitzed, the horseradish sauce, stock cube and the egg white.

Combine the mixture with your hands and then put into the fridge for about 30 minutes to let it firm up.

Take out of the fridge and form into four equal sized patties.

Then either fry them in a pan or do as I do and lightly brush them with very little extra virgin olive oil and grill them on a Foreman type grill. It takes about 8 minutes for them to be cooked through.

Serve.

Looking into the mirror right after waking up is always a dangerous choice but this morning it was even more shocking.  I woke up feeling like I could barely open one of my eyes.  I went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror to find Sloth from The Goonies looking back at me!

Seriously - look:

My one eye is so red and swollen that I can barely keep it open most of the time.  I am pretty sure it is just a stye because I had one a long time ago but regardless it is something that makes me glad that I work from home.  That said, it was one of the few days that I had to actually go out in the real world because I had to pay my credit card bill at the bank.  So, I tried to  get my bangs so far down over the eye that people would’t notice.  Of course they would notice my rather strange hair but I can deal with that.  I just tried to make sure I didn’t buy any Baby Ruth chocolate bars so that I wasn’t asked for my autograph.

It does hurt but it could be worse.  It could have been a UTI instead which is proof that if there is a God he is a man.